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Carissa M. Galow
http://reflectionsofmyheart.purpledream.com
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Without You
10/12/06 |
The world turns every day,
The sun comes out to play,
Life goes on,
But, somehow, without you,
It doesn't seem like living,
There's a hole inside my soul,
Emptiness,
Pain,
Longing that will never be fulfilled,
Arms that will remain empty,
Love that will never be returned,
Each new day,
I wake up,
I do what I have to do,
Like a robot,
Just going through the motions,
On auto-pilot,
Saying what I have to say,
Doing the things that need to be done,
But, without much feeling,
Growing hollow inside,
More and more each day,
That is spent without you,
I am doing the best I can,
Smiling even when I don't feel like it,
Forcing myself to do things,
To get out,
To socialize,
Doing the best I can to forget,
That life is so cold,
Without you,
I have a lot to be thankful for,
A lot to cherish,
But, somehow,
With that hole inside me,
Nothing feels like it should,
The joy isn't as bright as it should be,
Nothing is as it should be,
Because,
I am so lost,
Without you.
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Vision Of You
11/10/06 |
I can see your face,
Ever so clearly in my mind,
So vivid,
That I swear you're right in front of me,
So real,
Your scent is in the air,
If I reach out,
I think I might be able to touch you,
And, if I could,
I'd pull you close,
Feel your body so close to mine,
Your breath caressing my neck,
Your arms around me so tight,
I never want to leave,
Let's just stay this way forever,
Entwined blissfully,
Connected,
Heart, mind, body, and soul,
The endless hours spent so peacefully,
Conversations,
Both serious and whimsical,
Laughter fills the air,
As we lay together,
Love,
Felt so deeply even in silence,
Our passion neverending,
Felt every moment,
Together or apart,
Trust, honesty, respect,
All so strong,
Bonded together,
How I wish this dream was real,
But, I know it's just a fantasy,
Nothing more than a vision in my mind,
A vision of you.
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Because Of You
12/12/06 |
I used to be alone,
I only had myself to take care of,
Though it didn't always seem that way,
It really was just me, myself, and I in the end,
That all changed the day you came into my life,
You taught me the meaning of love,
Though it was all out of sorts for awhile,
It all came together in time,
And, even though things are still not as they should be,
I am learning and growing every single day,
You may not see it yet,
Unable to comprehend what love really is,
And, just how much you mean to me,
Or maybe you understand better than us all,
For you're not yet jaded,
You're the reason the shines on me,
Even when it rains,
There is a ray of hope beaming on my face,
And, one day you will see,
That it's because of you.
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Reason For The Season
01/01/07 |
Every day on Earth is special
Every child born brings hope and light
But, no day is more special than Christmas to me
And, no child more precious than Jesus
Many of us cling to presents and decorated trees
And the time we get to spend with our families
It's sad that so often we forget
The real reason to celebrate
So consumed with what to get Mom
And will the lights work outside?
I hope we don't get too much snow
We have to get to Grandma's on time
Many of us go to church on Christmas Eve
And sing the songs about his birth
But, we tend to forget the miracle
And cherish it every day
From May to April each year
His birth should be celebrated
Show it in how we live
And how we love
Because no day is more special
And it should be remembered all year long
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This Is Me
02/01/07 |
A daughter,
For twenty-eight years,
And a little extra time,
Spent curled up in a womb,
Made in likeness,
Of the two that gave me life,
I have my mother's smile and love of banana cream pie,
And my father's nose and nasty temper,
And, I have God's love flowing in every vein,
This is me, a daughter of twenty-eight years,
A sister,
Since the age of three,
To three siblings,
Born of the same father,
But, a different mother,
Unknown to me till the age of ten,
Then, I took my role as the oldest,
Whenever I was able to visit,
I wanted to be funny, smart, and cool in their eyes,
This is me, a sister since the age of three,
A niece,
To many,
But all I have known are Lyle and Scott,
Two uncles, brothers to my mother,
Scott made me laugh,
Lyle, was not often seen,
The roles changed now,
Lyle has become a co-worker and friend,
And, Scott moved away,
This is me, a niece to Lyle and Scott,
A friend,
Loyal to the end,
I have made my mistakes,
And learned many lessons the hard way,
But, I am good, kind, and true,
And, lucky to have met so many wonderful people,
Who I have come to love and cherish,
We stick together,
Through it all, good and bad,
This is me, a friend loyal to the end,
A mother,
Since the age of twenty-three,
Of all the roles I have to play,
This is the greatest of them all,
In charge of a little boy,
Shaping his future,
Watching him grow,
Help him to learn from my mistakes,
And show him all I know,
This is me, a mother since the age of twenty-three.
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Walking Contradiction
03/07/07 |
I don't know if it can be attributed to the stars,
Or if it's just in my blood,
Maybe both,
But, there is an internal war,
Within myself,
Yin and yang,
Both inside my soul,
The two parts that make me,
Are as different as can be,
Like night and day,
Caring and compassionate,
I'd give up all I have for those I love,
Ask me for help,
And, you know I'd come running,
Even at three in the morning,
When my cycles shift,
The story changes,
Don't bother me,
It's not my problem,
Haven't you got someone else who can help you?
Determined,
Ready to take on the world,
There is nothing I can't do,
I will be a best selling author, an Oscar winner, a Broadway star,
And, the best mommy, daughter, worker, and friend,
Sulking,
Lying in bed,
I don't want to get dressed,
Some days, I eat all day or sometimes nothing at all,
I'm a loser, a failure, and you're all better off without me,
I confuse many,
Even myself,
Bi-polar is a nasty disorder,
And, when untreated,
You never know which me you'll get,
When in control,
I still have relapses,
That just comes with the territory,
But, to love me,
Is to know me, all of me...the walking contradiction.
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Under Lock And Key
04/04/07
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Dear Diary,
I come to you with my innermost thoughts,
My secrets,
That I am afraid to tell anyone else,
For even those I trust with so much,
There are just things I wish to keep to myself,
But, if I don't get them out somehow,
I know my mind will explode,
Sometimes I am so afraid,
I fear that I will fail myself,
And even worse,
That I will fail my son,
I always swore I'd never be my parents,
And, in some ways,
I'm not,
But, in others, I am more like them than I ever wanted to be,
But, I fight those insecurities with all I have,
Because I want to be the best mother ever,
I have already sacrificed so much for him,
And, I will continue to do so if it's what's best for my son,
Many don't really understand just what he means to me,
He is my life,
He's the only one I could say,
That I'd lay my life down for,
And, diary,
I am afraid of being alone,
I see my mother,
Always bouncing from boy-friend to boy-friend,
And my father,
Always pushing people away,
Even his own wife and children,
And, here I sit, still alone,
Will my time ever come?
Or will I stay single forever?
It's not really marriage that I'm after,
Even if I never sign the piece of paper,
And I never wear a ring,
I just want to be loved,
And to give all of my love in return,
To feel complete,
So many fears and insecurities,
Wrestle within my head,
And, tug strings on my heart,
Bad thoughts,
Dark desires,
Wishes and dreams,
Hopes and aspirations,
So much to tell you,
But, only you,
For complete trust is a hard thing to do,
I've been hurt,
Lied to and misled,
By those whom I loved,
And many who claimed to love me in return,
It's hard to hand out my trust, just like that,
Though, I yearn to,
So, for now,
I will write to you,
When I feel there is no one else to turn to,
My sole confidant,
I trust you,
For you can't tell anyone,
All that I tell you,
Will be kept under lock and key.
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Home Sweet Wisconsin
05/04/07 |
West Allis, Green Lake, and Menasha,
I have been all over this great state,
I always complain about the cold and snow,
But, honestly, there is no place like home,
There's none better than home sweet Wisconsin!
I was born and raised here,
I know the roads, the sites, and faces,
I have talked of leaving here many times,
But, when it comes down to it,
I found myself unable to go,
Singing karaoke at Harry O's,
Summerfest and sitting by the rocks,
Dancing at Park Central,
Taking a detour along the Menomonee River Parkway,
Cheering on the Pack at Lambeau,
Too many memories,
I'll never forget,
Even if I ever leave someday,
My heart will always remain here,
In home sweet Wisconsin,
Green and gold,
Miller, Marcus theaters, Ripon Good Cookies,
And the home of the Republican Party,
We're home to so many things,
But, for me, none more important that family,
Driving on the back roads in Ripon,
Young, naive, and 21,
Bowling league on the North side of Milwaukee,
Learning to shine on stage,
Finding myself,
Broken heart, more than once,
More than my share of tears,
Fell down and got back up again,
Became a mother,
And learned the true meaning of love,
No matter where I go,
My roots will remain here,
When I die,
This is where I want to rest,
Right here in home sweet Wisconsin.
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One Day At A Time
06/08/07 |
So many times over,
I have sat and tried to figure out the future,
What will happen?
Who will I be with?
When will things work out?
All that's done is stress myself out,
Needlessly,
I worry myself into a frenzy,
But, recently,
I have learned some words to live by,
One day at a time,
With everything in life,
In love,
Work,
With friends,
No need to rush things,
With each day that passes,
Things will be made clearer,
The harder you try to figure things out,
The more unsure you become,
So, one day at a time,
Take things as they come,
The answers will be revealed,
All in good time,
And, though I have never been the patient kind,
It's something I am really trying to live by,
Because in my heart,
I do believe those words,
And, in life,
You will always have questions,
Even when you get answers to some,
There will always be more around the corner,
But, no need to stress,
Not anymore,
Just do the best we can,
Take the good with the bad,
And, enjoy life,
One day at a time.
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Untitled
07/08/07 |
Crying, feeling so defeated,
So lost,
You thought you had won,
And, for so long,
I thought so too,
But, somehow, I got up,
I found strength in God,
I found wisdom in friends,
And, in the end,
I found myself,
Head held up high,
No longer letting your words defeat me,
Your cruelty no longer holds power,
I believe in myself,
As a mother, a friend, and person,
Say what you want,
You can't take away my worth,
The sword of hurt you once swung at me,
Has gotten to heavy for you,
And, now it lay there at your feet,
It took me a long time to get where I'm at,
For so long, I made excuses,
For so long, you were right,
I was weak,
But, not anymore.
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